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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27143423">Leaving (You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyWordWeaver/pseuds/WolfyWordWeaver'>WolfyWordWeaver</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Best Friends, Consensual Underage Sex, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Headaches &amp; Migraines, Kissing, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Running Away, Sibling Incest, Sirius Black Fest 2020, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Underaged Sexual Content, Unhappy Ending, clothed grinding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:28:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27143423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyWordWeaver/pseuds/WolfyWordWeaver</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's another reason that Sirius leaves his family - one that has less to do with family political beliefs and more to do with being in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regulus Black/Sirius Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sirius Black Fest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Leaving (You)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt 2: there's another reason that Sirius leaves<br/>(In this Sirius is 16 years old and Regulus is 15 years old.)</p><p>I like the song "Obsessions" by Marina for this; it was played a lot while the writing of it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Throbbing pain rocked back and forth through the young man's skull as he remained in his hunched over position. James was still prattling on about the specs on the newest broom being used in the professional Quidditch Leagues and Sirius was sure that Peter was nodding eagerly at every word. Remus was probably still reading the Potions textbook since he was behind on homework and barely making it through the class. If these persistent migraines weren't a thing, Sirius knew that he'd probably offer Moony a hand. As it was, he kept curled up against James' side and tried not to get nauseated enough from the movement of the train to get sick in the compartment. </p><p>
  <em>We're getting closer to the station, closer to home, closer to...</em>
</p><p>James was absentmindedly rubbing at the back of Sirius' neck and the young Heir sighed deeply. He enjoyed these neck rubs a lot more after successfully becoming an Animagus and it wasn't the first time that he wondered at the strange magic that allowed a human to take the form of an animal and allowed the animal to leave its marks on the man. Sometimes the neck rub would help with the migraines and sometimes it wouldn't. Sirius wished he knew why.</p><p>The loud screech of breaks made him gag a little as he clutched tightly to the bench. Tears pricked at his eyes and panic welled in his chest. He needed to go out there. There was no choice. A dull roar of conversation and shuffling bodies could be easily heard through the door to their compartment and his breathing came in sharper bursts, mimicking the jolts and stutters of the halting Hogwarts Express. </p><p>Students were bustling about and laughing beyond that door and it took Sirius a few long moments to realize that the Marauders' compartment had gone completely silent. The hand at the back of his neck had stopped even though it was still thrumming with compassion. Their stares were heavy on his already crushing soul. </p><p>"I swiped a Pepper Up from the hospital wing," Remus offered softly. "I don't know if it'll help, but you're welcome to it."</p><p>Sirius knew just how much Remus enjoyed a bit of Pepper Up the morning after an alcohol binge (or Pepper Up in general, the addict) and he shook his head slowly.</p><p>"I'll be fine," he grit out before taking a few more deep breaths. </p><p>
  <em>I want to go back to Hogwarts where it's safe. I don't want to be here.</em>
</p><p>The boys remained quietly seated with him as the train emptied out and Sirius felt a spark of gratitude in his chest. James gave his shoulders a tight squeeze and he finally stood to his feet. Lights danced in  his vision for a moment and he wanted to just groan and lay on the bench for the rest of the day but that was something he couldn't do. His family was waiting for him.</p><p>None of the others said anything about his sorry state while acting as casually as they could about helping him get his trunk and adding a muffling charm around his head. It helped with the sound sensitivity and Sirius could never get it right on himself when he was plagued with the migraines. As they shuffled closer to the platform he felt the sheer terror well inside. Regardless, he began to pull up the masks he wore around everyone but his fellow Marauders and kept placing one foot in front of the other. Mother and Father would not approve of an unguarded expression and he wouldn't be surprised if their tolerance for his rebellion was already stretched thin.</p><p>If only they knew that his rebelliousness was the least of their worries.</p><p>Remus nonchalantly hefted the trunk from the train down onto the platform (damn werewolf strength) before offering the group of friends a shy smile and walking off towards his distracted father. His Muggle mother had not come to greet him since the first year, too nervous around all the strange wizards. Peter gave a quick dip of his head before scurrying off to his mother, her chubby hand waving in the crowd excitedly. James stood next to Sirius, unmoving and not even looking about for his own parents.</p><p>"You going to be okay with them?" he asked while he pretended to study a flyer for the Holiday Party that the Bones family was going to be throwing. "I can always just kidnap you."</p><p>He wasn't joking and Sirius was even more grateful for it.</p><p>"I know, James. It'll be fine." </p><p>Not looking for the other Blacks had become habit by this point and Sirius stared at his polished shoes while gathering his courage. Being so tall he knew that it wouldn't take long to spot them when he did decide to look up. There wouldn't be any going back after that, not until the winter break was over. </p><p>"You know...you can talk to me about anything, right?" James absentmindedly pushed up his glasses with the back of his hand before sending a side glance to his best mate. There was concern in those dark eyes and Sirius wished that he deserved it.</p><p>"Eh, it's nothing much," he muttered as he rolled his shoulders and offered James a weak grin. "Maybe old Grandfather Arcturus will finally show me where he keeps the blood of his enemies this year."</p><p>That brought a laugh to the Potter Heir and Sirius relaxed a little bit more. He hated being the source of concern for his friends. He, Sirius Black, had a reputation of never caring or being bothered about much of anything and he intended to keep it that way. The migraines had been a rather new development, but it had been entirely chalked up to the stresses that his mother and father provided constantly. No one could be immune to that level of disappointment and vitriol. </p><p>"If he does," James snickered, "be sure to let me know. I'm sure that I could make better use of those than he can."</p><p>"Of course, my dear Prongs," he snickered back, ignoring the angry throbbing behind his eyes. "I keep no secrets from you."</p><p>Seemingly more content with the situation, James let his shoulders relax and began looking for his parents. "Call me on the mirror if you need anything, love."</p><p>"Always do. Keep your bed warm for me," he shot back with a flirtatious wink that sent James into another fit of snorts and giggles before the two shoved at each other lightly and parted ways. </p><p>Familiar grey eyes had already caught his attention and Sirius walked towards them like a doomed moth to the flame.</p><p>"Finally ready?" Walburga snapped in irritation. </p><p>"Yes, Mother," he replied flatly. </p><p>It wouldn't do to get the hols off on the wrong foot. Maybe if he played his cards right they would just let him sleep the whole thing away. The woman's perfectly manicured eyebrows went up in surprise and her lips pinched a bit before she whirled around and marched towards the Apparition Point. She hated taking the Floo and avoided it if at all possible. Taking her two sons Side-Along was easy enough for her so they always went that route. Just another year and Sirius would be able to do this on his own. </p><p>Warmth pressed against his side and Sirius made great effort to remain unaffected on the exterior. </p><p>"Would you like to play some Wizard's Chess when we get home?" the silky smooth voice inquired. "Avery taught me some new-"</p><p>"No," he snapped a bit too harshly before wincing at the tone and the pain that throbbed harshly in his head. "Uh, no, I'm going straight to bed."</p><p>Regulus looked supremely disappointed. "Oh."</p><p>Morgana's Veil, it tore Sirius' hearts to shreds to see the slump of those shoulders and that hardness in those eyes. It cut him to his very core to see it happening more and more often but he knew that this was better than the alternative. If he saw the warmth too much, that softness...Salazar save him.</p><p>All three Blacks remained silent as they stepped up to the designated platform and Walburga pulled out her elegant wand before offering a hand to her eldest. Sirius took it gingerly and then offered his arm to his sibling while also keeping a firm grip on his trunk. Regulus slipped his own arm in, making sure that they were as close as physically possible. He hated Side-Along Apparition, especially as he was always at the end of the chain.</p><p>
  <em>"I'm going to go flying off to Salazar knows where one day!" he cried as a terrified 12-year-old clinging to his brother's arm.</em>
</p><p>The experience was over shortly, as it always was, and they were standing in the family parlor of 12 Grimmauld Place.</p><p>"Your father is off on business but will expect to see you both at dinner," Walburga informed her sons as she gingerly fingered off her travel gloves and tucked her wand back in its holster. "No roughhousing or Quidditch." With that and a swirl of skirts she was gone.</p><p>Neither son glanced at each other as they stood still in the ornately furnished room. Sirius swallowed thickly as the scent of home invaded his senses and the barrage of childhood memories made their assault. All the games and mischief, the held hands and whispered promises. What good were his promises now? He couldn't keep them, not with the way he was now.</p><p>Without a word Sirius turned on his heel and made his way up the moaning steps towards his room. Kreacher had taken to not polishing his nameplate or indeed doing any kind of cleaning in his room since the Muggle posters of biker chicks and motorcycles apparently offended his tender sensibilities. The musty smell of dust was just as familiar as the smell of the rest of the house and Sirius allowed himself to relax even more in the sanctuary of his room. Grabbing the Heirloom wand still sitting on the desk where he left it, Sirius proceeded to freshen up the room and put everything away neatly without any trouble. He and Regulus had been performing underaged magic all their lives with these family wands, another perk of being from such a distinguished and ancient bloodline. </p><p>The marbled wood of this particular wand was supposed to have belonged to Sirius II and several other Black Heirs before him so it had been designated as Sirius' while Regulus was given one that belonged to Lycoris, their grandfather's only sister. There had been something unsavory in the death of Regulus I, grandfather's other sibling, so his wand was being held for a couple of generations in a purifying ritual of some sort. The current Black Family Heir stared at the wand that was now as familiar as his own from Ollivander's. He wondered what all this particular one had seen, all the witches and wizards that had a hand on it and where all their lives had spiraled.</p><p>What sins had these ancestors committed? </p><p>With a melancholy sigh, the young wizard stripped out of his school robes and donned his favorite Muggle t-shirt and a pair of pants he stole from Remus half way through the semester. They were boxer briefs, something he found a lot more flattering on his figure than the high-waisted drawers his mother sent him to school with and he hadn't worn a proper sleepshirt since his First Year. </p><p>Slipping between the sheets, Sirius welcomed the sleep that would soon soothe his aching mind.</p><p>*****</p><p>Sirius had been half-conscious of the efforts of the house-elf to wake him for dinner but the need for sleep had won and he drifted back into the safety of dreams. There he could run through the night with his pack, pleased to chase rabbits and annoy the centaurs without being trampled. Moony was an excellent deterrent to that kind of thing. </p><p>The Dog was contentedly digging up at the roots of one of the ancient trees when he felt the cool fingers stroking at his forehead. It was a pleasant sensation and he sat in it for several minutes before realizing that the face being stroked was not the elongated form of the Dog but the delicate visage of the Wizard. Bleary eyes opened to see familiar grey eyes.</p><p>"I've brought some leftover soup," Regulus stated softly, his hands never hesitating as they continued to finger through the silky waves and across the pale forehead. "Father accepted your excuse of illness, so  you don't have to worry about unpleasant repercussions."</p><p>Still feeling bleary and off-kilter, Sirius buried his face in the warmth of his pillow.</p><p>"Bugger off, Reggie," he mumbled.</p><p>"Life would be so much easier for the family if your words always came muffled like that," Regulus sighed with a smirk in his voice. </p><p>He added a pinch to his brother's ribs for good measure and Sirius automatically twisted and pulled the other teen into a grapple. Regulus squawked in surprise and flailed uselessly as Sirius wrestled him into a headlock.</p><p>"Brat," Sirius huffed, his voice thick with sleep. "Even Peter could out-wrestle your skinny arse."</p><p>"Salazar," came the breathy reply as Regulus attempted to get out of the hold. "I don't...I don't even know the last time someone tried to manhandle...my person."</p><p>Sirius snickered as he pushed down on a nerve and made his little brother yelp. "None of your roommates try to teach you a lesson for leaving your socks on the floor?"</p><p>"Firstly," Regulus grumbled as he twisted and bucked, "I would never...leave my <em>socks </em>on the floor. Barbarian."</p><p>"Prat." </p><p>"Secondly, no." He quit wiggling for a second to catch his breath. "No one would dare lay a hand on me."</p><p>"That's too bad," Sirius yawned. "You've gotten soft."</p><p>"Ah ha ha," came the unhappy reply. "You're so much better than me dear Sirius, having so much practice with those friends of yours."</p><p>"Absolutely." </p><p>"They would never-" Before he even knew what hit him, Sirius was thrown on his back with a much stronger buck from his younger brother before a muscle-cramping hex caught him in the arm and Regulus was pinning him down with the biggest shit-eating grin Sirius had ever seen. "They would never misdirect and mislead you." He leaned down, tendrils of dark hair hanging down to tickle at Sirius' face. "You're getting rusty, Sirius. All that straightforward bluster has dulled you to the sneak attack."</p><p>Sirius knew that he shouldn't but his blood was pounding and his heart was singing with the thrill of competition. </p><p>His fingers flicked in a non-verbal and wandless incantation that sent his brother stumbling back with a litany of curses. It was music to his depraved ears and he carelessly tackled the boy right off of his bed and down onto the floor where they wrestled in earnest, elbows digging and knees crashing while whispered and silent hexes flew. If anyone in their family had been near the bedroom they would have surely heard the commotion and the two of them would be taking disciplinary hexes for sure, but the brothers couldn't be bothered to care. </p><p>All that mattered was victory and Sirius crowed as he came out on top, his knees firmly planted on Regulus' shoulders and the younger boy's legs caught in a leg-bind. He grinned down, his own hair askew and a flush of excitement painting his cheeks. </p><p>"You might be a little back-stabber, Reggie, but you're still no match for me," he huffed with a chuckle. </p><p>A slow smile spread across those pouty Black lips and Sirius felt his heart-rate tick up.</p><p>"A prize to the victor," Regulus offered softly, his bird chest still fluttering from exertion. </p><p>Things were off again, reality tilted, and Sirius stumbled back to settle over those too-thin thighs. Was he moving away in fear or acceptance? His stomach was twisting into knots and he was certain that the whole of London could hear the cacophony echoing in his own chest at the moment. Regulus sat up carefully and brushed his own curled bangs back, shorter than Sirius' hair but still long enough to frame his face. A deeper color spread along the normally pale cheeks and Sirius knew that it was going to be just as bad as he feared.</p><p>Arms wrapped around his shoulders and Sirius stuttered a breath before closing his eyes and leaning in to claim his prize.</p><p>It was a gentle pressure, the joining of lips that had no rights to each other. Large hands, scarred from the results of too many pranks and experiments gone wrong settled against the bony spine of his brother and pulled him closer, their lips pulling apart before delving into each other with a more heated intent. It was obvious that neither of them was particularly experienced but that didn't hinder the push and pull of their kiss. Regulus was now clutching desperately at his brother's hair, refusing to let him pull away and Sirius was certain that he would have decked anyone else for such an affront to his hair but not Regulus. </p><p>Never Regulus.</p><p>Their bodies moved like molasses, slow and languid but sticky enough to trap each other for eternity while their lips clicked and slid messily together in desperation. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was the most damning. There was no denying it, no claims of innocence or fraternal affection. Nothing but the hunger and burning hot desire. </p><p>A moan shuddered between them and Sirius felt the tears burn behind his eyelids at just how much he wanted this. He bore down on the lap under him and only pulled his lips away long enough to offer his own groan of relief. </p><p>"A-again," Regulus whimpered, pulling too carelessly at Sirius' hair as he pressed his hips upwards.</p><p>Had he ever been able to refuse a request from his brother? His hormone-addled brain could not recall and Sirius could barely remember why he should. No one could light him on fire from the inside out like this. He could get friendship and even brotherhood from others, but this was different. For as long as he had been aware of himself, Sirius knew that he had felt worshipful love over this person currently keening softly under him. He had thought that it was what others normally felt for their brothers until he had gained his own at Hogwarts. </p><p>The burning fraternal hate between Walburga, Cygnus, and Alphard started to make more sense after that. He could be upset with James, Remus, or Peter on any given day and saw how it could be something that festered and turned into gut-rotting hatred but it was not a feeling that he could ever tie to Regulus in the same way. Sure, he had been frustrated with Regulus and even been upset with the boy, but it hadn't carried the same weight; those were faults that could and had been forgiven quickly, rolling off like condensation down the flawless crystal of his mother's dinnerware. Affection never went away, even when he was scared to death of where it would take him.</p><p>Regulus was lying on his back now, a hand over his mouth as he panted and moaned while his other hand clutched at Sirius' shoulder and begged for more. Sirius bit down on his lip and kept his hands braced on either side of Reggie's head while he rutted against the other's robed crotch. Blood welled against his teeth before a droplet fell and splattered against the back of the pale hand. His misty eyes watched near deliriously as Regulus turned his hand and swiped the blood into his mouth with the sensual drag of his tongue. </p><p>"Tourjous Pur," he whispered and Sirius shuddered into a blinding and overwhelming completion. </p><p>"Mmnph!"</p><p>The elder Black gasped and dropped to an elbow as he tried to ground himself from the swirling emotions and physical vertigo. The body under him shifted enough to get better friction against his leg and only a few seconds later Regulus was trembling from his own orgasm and choking back his own cries. Sirius rolled over onto his back and stared up at the enchanted ceiling, watching as the constellations danced and swirled, chasing each other across the magical sky. Dread settled in his stomach and the tension was clawing up his spine and neck again. </p><p>He shouldn't have come back home.</p><p>Fingers tenderly danced across the skin of his forearm which was resting against his heaving abdomen. They trailed down from his elbow towards his palm, skating over the flesh and drawing out the goosebumps and exciting the already sensitive nerves. It almost hurt and Sirius settled into that overstimulation, knowing that it was similar to his love of Regulus. It was too much, something that shouldn't continue the way that it did and yet he let it. He gave in, over and over, trying to kid himself into believing that it wouldn't go anywhere. The wetness in his stolen underwear was proof enough that he <em>couldn't </em>stop it, that it would keep going and going so long as he was in this family.</p><p>"Look at me," Regulus murmured. Grey met grey, and Sirius could see the ruin spelled out in those eyes. "You'll be of age next year," he continued.</p><p>"What of it?" Sirius sighed. His own fingers came up unbidden and brushed across the reddened lower lip softly.</p><p>The younger Black took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again with a determined expression. </p><p>"Take me as a Consort," he requested firmly as if he hadn't just said something completely ludicrous. </p><p>Sirius stared at him in shock. "What?"</p><p>"Mother and Father would never approve of me as your husband because they need you to bear proper Heirs, but we can force them to agree to my being your Consort."</p><p>"They would never agree." Sirius could see how <em>that</em> conversation would go and was scared of what the results would be. He was more frightened of what they would inflict on Regulus, their good son who never disappointed them. He leaned up on his elbows and brushed his nose against his brother's larger one. "Even Grandfather Arcturus would have something to say against it."</p><p>"We're the only two options for carrying on the Black name," Regulus insisted. "They'll have nothing to hold over us if we are together." He nuzzled back against his older brother. "Please, Sirius. I could live with you having someone else so long as I knew that I was yours too."</p><p>Merlin's beard, how had this gone so far? Sirius felt the sharp pain in his chest at the thought of his brother suffering this ache just as much as he did. They had never spoken of this explicitly before, so how could these feelings develop between them and so deeply? Brothers did not love each other this way. They did not share furtive glances and secret smiles, indulging in too-tender touches and fraternal kisses that lingered perhaps a bit too long. </p><p>"How long?" he murmured, staring at those eyes and seeing them without their usual masks up. </p><p>Regulus had always been a Slytherin, someone who kept their cards close to the vest and played things out in ways to best accomplish their goals. Sirius hadn't quite understood the depths of that until he studied the raw and naked need that Regulus was exposing right now. He had always thought that there was maybe just a little crush, something of older brother idolatry, but this was more than that. This was something that his baby brother had been thinking of for a long time, <em>planning</em>. </p><p>"For as long as I've known you," Regulus replied with certainty. "Oh gods, Sirius, I've never not loved you, you insufferable arse."</p><p>"You're too young to know what you want," Sirius sighed knowing that this was not an argument he could win. </p><p>That haughty chin lifted as Regulus bristled. </p><p>"I'm not some frail-minded Squib, Sirius. Grandfather Pollux was already having children at your age, so there can be no real argument against beginning the Consort courting now."</p><p>"Yes, but he wasn't bloody buggering his brother," Sirius hissed angrily, running a hand through his messy hair. </p><p>"What do you care of what other's think?" Regulus snapped back in frustration. "You didn't care when you accepted placement with the Gryffindors! Fuck family expectations and traditions! Bloody throw a fit over Dark Creature <em>rights </em>and Muggles! But me? Damn them all, Sirius, everyone who thinks they have a right to stand between us!" His chest was heaving and his hand fisted the soft material at the collar of Sirius' shirt. "Black is best," he begged now. "There is no one else that could come close to us, Sirius. No one can understand a Black better than one of us."</p><p>Sirius lunged forward passionately and claimed those lips again, pouring his desperation and longing into that kiss. Damn it all to the Muggle's Hell, why did they have to fit together so well? Why did their lips meld so naturally and effortlessly? Why did their depraved desires match? </p><p>"We need to get cleaned up," he murmured against those plush lips, wishing that he never had to be separated from them. "Don't want to give Kreacher a stroke when he does the wash."</p><p>Regulus tilted his head and deepened their kiss even more, their tongues shamelessly tangling. His hand was still tightly wound in Sirius' shirt and seemed to have no intention of letting it go. They settled against each other comfortably and continued in the indulgence for several long minutes. Sirius ran his fingers through the ebony hair so similar to his and scraped his nails against the tender scalp. His heart leapt in affection as Regulus melted even more into the embrace, moaning so softly that only his Animagus sharpened senses could pick up on it. </p><p>The sting of his cut lip was tenderly soothed between the bursts of passion. It was strange to finally indulge in something that he feared and realize that it was as dangerous as he had imagined it would be. Contrary to what other people thought, Sirius did have a sense of danger; while he actively chose to disregard it in most cases, he felt the danger of what the two of them were doing creeping up his spine. This was too perfect, exactly what he would have desired. A lazy ease of affection, a passionate hunger but just as lovely was the quiet love between. </p><p>"I love you," whispered against his lips and Sirius knew that he was running out of time.</p><p>"I love you too," he whispered back in the same breath before adding a final click of a kiss. "Now get off to bed before Mother comes looking for you."</p><p>"I wouldn't care," Regulus insisted softly and Sirius knew he wasn't lying. </p><p>"Come on, good one, let's not stir the pot before the first night of holiday is even over."</p><p>Regulus looked a bit put out and Sirius hated himself even more for finding that look adorable. He wanted to cause that expression more, to bite those lips until they never recovered back to their pale state, to never have to tell his brother to leave again. All he wanted in that moment was to take Regulus to his bed and to give him the proper love and worship he deserved. </p><p>"Don't expect me to forget what I said," he replied instead. "I want to be your Consort, Sirius, and I've worked it all out. Besides, regardless of what you think, Mother and Father do love us and they want us to be happy."</p><p>"I'm sure you have, prat," he chuckled, planning to completely ignore the comment about their parents. "That's what you nerds do. Plan."</p><p>"Your lot does far more planning," Regulus huffed. "Those pranks don't plot themselves."</p><p>"Off to bed, Little King," Sirius insisted before pressing one final <em>final</em> kiss against those lips. "No more talking."</p><p>Those eyes rolled in aggravation but Regulus moved to sit up. He scrunched his nose in distaste at the feeling of his messed robes before looking up and offering a hopeful smile. His hands took Sirius' face carefully, thumbs stroking over the cheekbones before the fingers danced deftly to tuck hair behind ears and trailed down the plane of neck to settle over the collar bones. The palms settled over the space of Sirius' heart and he wondered if Regulus could feel the desperate pounding.</p><p>*****</p><p>It hadn't taken long after washing up before Sirius found himself sitting in the open window of his room with a cigarette burning lazily in his shaking hand. The wind was bitterly cold, but only portions of it would break through the wards surrounding the house so it was nothing more than something to sharpen Sirius' internal debate. </p><p>The Blacks put up with a lot of Sirius' nonsense because he held the birthright, but he knew that doing this with Regulus would be something that he could never go back on and was something that Regulus would have to carry for the rest of his life. A healthy son foregoing his duty to produce children for the family's name so that he could be an illegitimate companion to his brother? To be the other man, never having any claim to property or social status? He would never be able to sit on the Wizengamot and he would be a laughingstock in Pureblood Society. </p><p>Even if they started the Consort courting and then decided to back out of it before it was consummated the damage would be done. Walburga and Orion would know what unnatural desires they had for each other and would never let them in sight of the other without supervision again. They would never be allowed private conversations or even friendly behavior as it could be construed for more than it was. Both parents would look down at Regulus as a foolish boy who allowed himself to be tempted into shameful behavior, and maybe they would still never allow him near the social responsibilities that were his due. </p><p>Sirius took another long drag from the cancer stick, making sure to fill every corner of his lungs with the poison. </p><p>Who would want their daughter to marry a man who had been in a courtship for Consort to his brother? No family would get anywhere near Regulus even if he and Reggie never completed the courtship process. The Blacks were very good at keeping secrets but going through a courtship while still at Hogwarts was a recipe for gossip and disaster. Even with the Black family tolerating incest like most of the other Pureblood Families, the line tended to be drawn at sibling love. It was rarely tolerated between brother and sister because at least that could produce a child to carry on the name and carry the bloodline. Brothers being together solely because of their love for each other didn't even have that going for it.</p><p>It would be a match only out of love. </p><p>Deranged, dangerous love.</p><p>What would James think? Sirius let out a tortured breath as he rubbed his temples with his wrists. James was his brother of choice, his partner in crime and the one person he could expect to have at his back for almost anything. Would this be another thing that he couldn't stand for? Would he and Remus and Peter turn their back on Sirius if he went through with this ludicrous idea? </p><p>Would it matter who he lost if he had Regulus? To have and to hold; to be with until the end?</p><p>He snorted in amusement as he watched the snow begin to waft down. It was far more acceptable for brothers to kill each other than it was to love each other. </p><p>The only benefit to Regulus in the whole arrangement was that he would gain a lover who would never betray him and never give him up. Outside of that he would be shamed and shunned, humiliated and harassed. Could he not just have the love of a brother who would never betray him and would always love him? A tear rolled down Sirius' cheek as he knew the answer to that. </p><p>Sirius knew himself and he would not be able to keep himself as just a brother to Regulus if things did not drastically change. Mother and Father would probably have one reason or another to disown him later in life if he kept up on his current path. There were talks of a group secretly fighting against the Death Eaters and the malevolent Voldemort. While the Marauders hadn't explicitly talk about that or their own futures after graduation, Sirius could see the writing on the wall. He knew where his family's loyalty rested when it came to the brewing war and he knew where he would go. </p><p>Selling his birthright to defend the freedom of the Muggleborns and Muggles.</p><p>Doing so after taking his brother as Consort would mean that Regulus wouldn't even have the family's name and honor to protect him. He'd be disowned by association, their status as the only two remaining male Blacks meaning nothing compared to the horror that Voldemort and Bellatrix could rain down on the family. If he forced the hand of his parents now, Regulus could be renamed the Heir. The family would double down on their defense of the familial home and their Heir, and Sirius could be certain that his brother would be safe regardless of what happened to him during the course of the war. </p><p>If he lived through the end of the war, as he intended, then maybe...swallowing thickly, Sirius wiped at his teary eyes. Maybe a disowned, rebellious, Muggle-loving wizard could offer himself as Consort to the Black Family Heir. He would have already thrown off all shame and gained the hate and disgust of other Purebloods. He would have no need of participating in their wretched society and who knew what the state of that society would even be after the war. He would have shed blood for and with his brothers, the Marauders, and maybe they wouldn't toss him aside for this.</p><p>Morning was coming and Sirius ached with the decision. </p><p>He wanted to explain everything to Regulus, to tell him that his love was true and that he was just trying to make the best decision, but his brother was stubborn and would undoubtedly try to change his mind. The brat would try to find another solution and would try to appeal to the love and loyalty of family, but Sirius had doubts over that. Fear of death was enough to break the bonds of loyalty, even in family. </p><p>Still, he couldn't leave his brother with nothing.</p><p>Hopping off the sill, Sirius rummaged through his writing desk and pulled out some fine parchment and an antique quill. He got straight to work in penning out two letters, one for his parents and the other a short note for Regulus. For his parents he spelled out his intention to leave the family and decry their backward thinking ways. He was sure to add as many things as he could to ensure that Walburga's temper would be stoked and his disownment would be guaranteed. For Regulus, he hoped that there wouldn't be many words needed.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Regulus,</em><br/>
<em>Never doubt my love.</em><br/>
<em>~S. O. B.</em>
</p><p>With that accomplished, he left the letters to dry and packed up what little he thought he couldn't live without. It all fit into his Hogwarts trunk and he allowed himself the use of his family's wand once more to shrink the trunk for easier transportation in his pocket. The young wizard took another shuddering breath and clung to the wand tightly, not wanting to lose it or really even his family. For as much as they disagreed and fought, this was still home and it would always have his heart so long as Regulus remained. </p><p>"I hope to see you again," he muttered against the wood before forcing himself to wrap it up in his letter. </p><p>He left the note for Regulus on the top of his desk so that it would be easy to find and he crept down to the reading room where Mother always took her tea first thing in the morning. Kreacher was already puttering about so he made sure to sneak through the manor without a sound to keep from alerting the house elf. The letter was set on her chair and he paused to gather his courage one more time.</p><p>There would be no turning back from this either. His face would be blasted off the tapestry before the end of the day and that was not something that could ever be undone. He clutched the space over his heart and took a deep breath to try to fend off the tears and fears. Regulus was sleeping blissfully unaware right above him and the temptation to go in there and say a proper goodbye was almost too strong. </p><p>"If you see him you won't do this," Sirius whispered to himself. "Get out while you can, you bastard."</p><p>Begging for his brother's forgiveness could come later, when the war was over and everyone was safe again. Rolling his shoulders and ignoring the pain throbbing behind his eyes, Sirius strode out of the home with firm intent. It was time to catch the Knight's Bus to James' place. The snow was coming down in sheets now, and he tugged out his personal wand to hold out for a ride without looking back.</p><p>A cold breeze blew in from the window he accidentally left open in his room and Sirius' note scraped along the top of the desk before falling over the edge to be sandwiched between the wall and drawers where in a few hours time a frantic Regulus Black would not find it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The only canon divergence in this is the reason for Sirius' running away and his plans for after the war. After he leaves, everything happens as it did in the book series.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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